Food Fight

I have a confession. My name is April and I am a picky eater.

I don't want to be a picky eater, I really don't...it just sort of happened. When I was a kid I ate whatever we were served for dinner, but even then there were "rules". The standard menu consisted of a meat, a vegetable, and a potato (not a starch, an actual potato).

Rule #1.
No two foods of different molecular structure can touch on the plate. Ever. For any reason.


Rule #2.
Meat should never be served "on the bone".


Rule #3. 
Leftovers belong in the garbage, not in a Tupperware container to be eaten at a later date.


Rule #4.
Milk is dead to me ON its expiration date.


Rule #5.
Gravy is for pot roast and only pot roast.

The rules are fairly simple and hardly ever inconvenience anyone else. Yes, at my parents house my dad cuts my meat for me so that I don't have to look at the bone. And yes, I occasionally ask for an extra plate so that I can avoid cross contamination. All that being said I really have no reason to think my perfectly reasonable eating habits will definitely rub off on my kids. After all Matt will eat ANYTHING, in disgusting quantities I might add.

Cue Lily.

We have spawned a child who will not eat. It isn't just that she is picky or has rules. Rules I get. Rules I could live with. Its that she changes the game every.single.day. Three days in a row bananas are God's proof that he loves her, but watch out...she may never eat another banana again, just because. She will not try anything new and she certainly will not eat yesterday's delicious dinner left overs for lunch today. Every meal is a complete and total crap shoot. Will she eat it? Will she throw it? Will her head spin around in a complete 360 while she tries to kill me with the lasers shooting from her eyes?!? I only wish it were as exhilarating at is sounds.

The one thing we have learned is that she eats best when left in the dining room alone. Lily, table for 1 please.  Last night to my shock and delight she ate a bowl of cooked broccoli without once threatening to kill me. And then she ate a hot dog too!! It was the most food she has eaten in one sitting in over a week.

I am desperately trying not to get worked up about it. I know she won't starve herself and that the best thing I can do is act like I don't care. But it is easier said than done.

Here she is pretending to like homemade pizza, I don't think she actually ingested any of it. 

I am sort of hoping in lieu of this post she will eat everything is sight... just to spite me!