Happy Birthday to me - a post about toddler puke!

You all know how much I love my daughter, and if you know me (either in real life or through my blog) you probably also know that I love my birthday. 

This year the little girl that I love so much gave me the gift of midnight toddler vomit for my birthday. Lots and lots of toddler vomit. 

If you have never had the pleasure of taking care of a toddler with the pukes let me tell you, it is a scaring experience. A few weeks ago when she was sick I thought it was pretty rough and coined the phrase "panic puker". In hindsight that day had NOTHING on the 18 hours of pure misery that Lily put me through on my birthday this year. It is safe to say that I would relive the hangover of '03, during which I had to pull over on I90 in Boston to get sick on the side of the road. Not exactly my proudest moment, but at least that night I had some fun before I had to spend the night on the bathroom floor. 

It started when I heard "the cry" around 11, coincidentally about 30 seconds after falling into a deep sleep. I shot out of bed and ran to the guest room (Ben's non-sleeping had been taking a toll on Lily so I had separated them once again) to find Lily sitting bolt upright in bed drenched in sweat, covered in puke, and screaming like a pissed off banshee. I'm serious, she was livid...and the instant our eyes met I knew she had found just the person she was looking for. Not to comfort and protect her, no no. Surely someone must be to blame for this disgusting injustice, that person must pay. That person was going to be me. 

I put her in the tub, washed her hair, put her in clean jammies, stripped the bed, started a load of laundry, rinsed out the tub, changed her jammies again, spot cleaned the living room rug, and made a "special bed" on the sun room floor all while being verbally abused and berated. Just as I was about to close my eyes on the couch she threw up with no warning all over her "special bed", I glanced at the clock 12:02...happy birthday to me! 

The night was looong, neither of us slept. At one point she looked me square in the face and said, "Stop making me throw up." Poor baby, I had no idea so much horribleness could come out of one little body.

Matt got up and went to work and I did my best not to cry at the thought of more puke. I prayed more than once that Ben would not wake up with whatever was raging inside Lily's tummy. (My prayers would not be answered, however there was a 24 hour break between illnesses.) Ben spent most of the day in isolation in the playroom and Lily spent the entire day watching TV between demands for something to eat or drink. When it had finally been a few hours since her last upchuck I allowed her some crackers and water. By the end of the afternoon she was finally looking a little better and had stopped cursing me under her breath. 

When Dingle came home from work we both agreed that eating cake in front of Lily would just add insult to injury and so we postponed my birthday festivities until the following day. I was so grateful to sleep in my own bed that night, aside from Lily feeling better, it was the best gift I could have gotten. 

The following day everyone was feeling better, I went for a massage, and we all had some chocolate cake. It was certainly a birthday that I won't forget any time soon. Motherhood comes with highs and lows and in the end I am certainly grateful that this was just a stomach bug and not something more serious. 

That doesn't mean I have to like toddler puke.

A little cuteness to cheer you up...

If you are on the East Coast and are currently getting pummeled with yet another snow storm then chances are you are in a bad mood...or is that just me?

In any case, if you are in a bad mood this should cheer you right up! Honestly, how can anyone be sour looking at that sweet face.

We have been busy and the posting has been sparse. I wish I could say that I expect the frequency of posts to increase in the near future but the reality is that we have Easter, 3 "birthday week extravaganzas", and a road trip to Richmond for Kate's graduation all coming up in the next six weeks and I will be lucky if I blog about any of it. Just kidding, there is no way I could not brag blog about the kids' birthday celebrations. My obsession with each of the aforementioned events is really the reason I haven't been posting much here...far too much to learn about royal icing and all. Plus I find that throwing myself into party planning really helps to distract me from the fact that soon I will have a 3 year old AND a 1 year old. :::SOB:::

We have all been doing okay. In the past few weeks we have been traveling quite a bit to see friends and family while Matt is working. Day trips are nice in that we can get in some good face time with the people we love and Matt doesn't miss out on the kids in the morning before work. Day trips are hard in that we completely abandon our regular schedule and the kids are usually a disaster the following day. It would be fantastic if all of our favorite people lived right down the street but since they don't we do what we can. 

Everyone had been healthy until Lily came down with the pukes yesterday. Let me tell you right now, toddler puke is flipping horrible. Lily is what I will call a panic puker. Without any warning at all she will bolt upright and just start throwing up. In response to a situation that is out of her control she then panics and starts doing anything she can to try and regain control, her go to move...covering her mouth with her hands. Yesterday I literally had to hold her hands down on the sides of a bowl to keep her from making an already disgusting situation SO MUCH WORSE. We survived, she was all pep this morning and so far no one else has gotten sick. Fingers are still very much crossed on that last part. I snapped the adorable picture above during a non-pukey part of the afternoon. Earlier today Ben fell on a toy in the playroom and has a nasty bruise/scrape/boo boo type thing on his cheek. I can only hope it looks worse than it feels. 

I am seriously so over winter. I just know that is going to be one of those years when we have snow on my birthday. I am literally angry that we got another 10 inches of snow today. A few weeks ago I said I enjoyed shoveling...well I changed my mind, so Mother Nature cut it out already. 

As I mentioned party plans are in the works for both kids. We are having a family party in Maine for Lily on Easter Sunday. I know it is sort of lame to double down on the holiday but all of the family will be together and her birthday is just a few days later. We are also having a small friend party for her later in the week. Nothing big, just cupcakes and a few friends at the playground...assuming we can even play outside. If not we will just have it here. Ben's party is going to be a bigger shindig, it is his first birthday after all. Detail to follow but if you follow me on pinterest than I bet you can guess the theme! 

I think that about catches me up. I am sure I could rattle on some more but I doubt you care what I ate for lunch. (It was a delicious grilled (sharp cheddar) cheese on sourdough...I am obsessed)

The Potty Diaries

Alternative title: How I potty trained my 2.5 year old in three days!!

Alternative alternative title: #22 - Potty Train Lily

Before I decided to officially tackle this whole potty training endeavor we did a trial run to see if she was "ready". In the name of full disclosure I do not count those first potty attempts towards my her three day victory over diapers. 

After a few practice days I went out to the store on Thursday afternoon and picked up two packages of big girl undies at Target. I chose My Little Ponies and Cinderella (because they were both on clearance). Lily seemed really excited to wear every.single.pair. In hindsight I should have just bought two packages of the ponies on account of the fact that she wore all of them first and then resisted the princess undies. Live and learn. 

On Thursday night Matt and I agreed that as of Friday morning she would be diaper free during the day! Unfortunately for Lily she woke up looking like this on Friday morning...and no I'm not talking about her hair.  

Covered in a red rash from head to toe. 

Obviously Matt was worried so he called the pediatrician before I had even gotten up for the day. They squeezed her in at 11am. Ugh. We had only been at the whole "diaper free" thing for a few hours and I just didn't dare take her out to the doctor's office (and I suspected the pharmacy) in her undies. A few weeks ago I bought some Pamper's Easy-Ups which are diapers, but as the name would imply they slip on and off. I have no idea what the difference between these and Pull-ups is. Lily calls them her girl diapers because they have Dora on the front.  In any case, Lily wore a girl diaper while we were out. Turns out the rash was the result of amoxicillin she had been taking for an ear infection. Unfortunately she is clearly highly allergic which begs the question, what else is she allergic to? I am deathly allergic to codeine, something I really hoped not to pass on to the tots. Only time will tell. 

Back to the potty. 

Getting a little annoyed with the paparazzi

After her appointment we went to the pharmacy and stopped off at the playground for a few minutes to reward excellent behavior at the doctors office. (Some of you may remember Lily's aversion to the doctor) As soon as we walked in the house she said, "want to sit on the potty?!". Turns out she had kept her diaper dry for over two hours. I was so proud and I just knew she had this.  She wanted to eat lunch on the potty like a weirdo, who I am to say no?  

On Saturday we went to the zoo with Rory, Erica, and Eamon. Lily wore a girl diaper which she did not keep dry, but we were out for almost 4 hours. I was hoping that she would tell me she needed to use the potty but the association between diapers and just "letting it go" is a strong one. 

Sunday we didn't leave the house and she wore undies all day, including nap time. 

I read several strategies for so called "one day" potty training. To be honest Lily just didn't need all of the fan fair. The strategy suggests getting a dolly that wets to demonstrate how to use the potty...yeah we skipped that. We also skipped the call chart and the running back and forth from the potty ten times. Over the three day weekend she had TWO accidents and both were my fault. I got distracted and by extension so did Lily.  

As I mentioned the other day I made a basket of treats to reward her for peeing on the potty. As of this morning the basket is almost empty and Lily seems to understand that when the treats are gone, they are gone. I will let you know if I end up regretting the basket, as of now the answer is no. 

Stickers from the treat basket, the only time all day she didn't choose chocolate! 

Our next big hurdle is of course pooping. Yesterday she crept off to the playroom while I was nursing Ben and filled her undies with a horrible toddler nightmare. It really was an epic mess and there was gagging. She was instantly remorseful but I could tell she did it on purpose. We washed up, flushed, washed up some more, tossed the undies in the trash, admired the zoo toy, and talked about hitting the potty next time. We'll see. For now she is still going to wear girl diapers to bed at night, if need be I suspect she will do her business then. Luckily for me her daddy gets her up in the morning. 

I am not exactly looking forward to the first time she needs to use a public bathroom so for now wherever we go, the potty goes too. 

There you have it. Just like most a life's big transitions thus far Lily simply shrugs her shoulders and says "whateves mom."  

Micheal Phelps is proud of you coo coo girl! (Mommy and Daddy are pretty darn proud too!) 

Adventures in sleep deprivation

I am really hesitant to write truthfully about how little we are sleeping and the effects said sleep deprivation is having on our family. For one, I really do want to have more children, but honestly I don't ever want to be reminded how hard this past month has been. I would like to be able to look back on these past few weeks a year from now with blissful nostalgia but that sort of goes out the window if I put the last few weeks into words.

Everything is relative and my life really is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. I have not forgotten that only a year ago a piece of my heart was forever broken when I had a miscarriage and that I am SO blessed to now have two beautiful children. All that being said, I am going to want to have more babies no matter what rubbish I write on this blog and a year from now I'll probably think I was just being melodramatic. At least that is what I will tell Dingle to convince him to have another baby!

Maybe I can find a little humor in the ugly truth, let's look.

As of Monday Ben is five weeks old! He has outgrown all of his newborn clothes and is wearing size 1-2 pampers. Lily didn't outgrow newborn diapers until she was 3 months old and I am fairly certain she can still fit into a newborn onsie, ok maybe not.  Like Lily, Ben has developed an awesome case of thrush. Four anti-fungal prescriptions later, he and I are hopefully on the slow road to getting rid of it. Unlike when Lily had thrush, this time it spread into my milk ducts. If you are curious as to what that feels like, imagine the worst sunburn you have ever had...on your boob. Now go slam your boob in the car door. Repeat every two hours. The medicine for his thrush comes in two forms. One is a bright sunshiny yellow liquid suspension that looks delicious (spoiler alert: it is not delicious) and has the viscosity of Elmer's glue. I suspect that this stuff would actually work better at holding elbow macaroni onto a paper plate than good old Elmer's. I have Lily working on a little something for Father's Day, we'll let you know. Anyway, Ben is not a fan of choking down 4ml of this happy looking substance four times a day. Someday I will find a way to get it off the ceiling.

The other medication is a thick yellowish cream for is "diaper region".  Ben doesn't seem to mind this one but I was less than thrilled to get some in an open cut yesterday. It burned for a surprisingly long time. He also has some crusty eye infection, which I am not convinced is bacterial, but we are putting the ointment on 3x a day for 5 days. Like the butt cream he doesn't seem to mind this one, although I imagine it blurs the limited vision he does have. Not to worry, thoughtful mommy that I am, I just push him closer to the TV.

It seems like a lot of medication for such a little guy but otherwise he is healthy. I wish I were exaggerating how little he sleeps at night however. Over the past few weeks we have tried a vast number of techniques, routines, tricks, rituals, and voodoo spells. In the wee hours of the morning I have cried, pleaded, prayed, laughed, and put in calls to the circus. For hour after mind bending hour I have shushed, swayed, burped, sung, rocked, bounced, and snuggled. And through it all Ben has slept in 15 minute blocks. Some nights are significantly better than others...this is how he gets you! On Sunday night we went back to the swaddle after a particularly rough few nights and he slept from midnight until just after 4am and then went BACK TO SLEEP from 5 to 7! I nearly died when he repeated this feat on Monday night. Fool that I am, indulged in two beers and stayed up past my 10pm bed time hanging out with my husband on Tuesday night only to have Ben refuse sleep, like it was his sole purpose in life, from midnight until 7am. Had Matt not been here to help I would have literally gotten no sleep. Thankfully he was able to take both kids for the breakfast shift (as he does most days) and I slept from 7 to 9. Is two hours really better than none, the jury is still out.

I was trying to think of a funny way to wrap up the post. Some anecdote about all of the dumb things Dingle and I have been doing as a result of such extreme sleep deprivation, but wouldn't you know it, I can't think of any. This post has taken me the better part of four hours (with LOTS of interruptions) to write as it is, so I will leave you with these crowd pleasers instead...a series of pictures in which we all try and get some sleep. Enjoy!

Caged animal

I literally can NOT believe I am still pregnant. I mean that not as a complaint, simply a statement of fact.

Every five minutes I look down at my belly and yell, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?" - Okay maybe I don't actually yell, or maybe I do.

When I was pregnant with Lily I had absolutely no "early labor" signs. I was also working full time and trying my damnedest to work right up until my due date. Lily was born at 40w6d, only after I was induced for low fluid the day before. In other words, she wasn't going anywhere on her own. This time around I have been having these phantom labor signs for 10 days. On three separate occasions in the last 5 days I have had contractions 10 minutes a part for an hour, only to have them stop completely. Of course two of those occasions were in the middle of the night. Anyone care to guess how much Lily cares that mommy didn't sleep the night before? Ha. Point being, it is starting to mess with my head.

I like being pregnant and if I didn't feel like I was on a slow death march to my scheduled c-section I would happily carry the baby well into next week. But I do have a deadline and I am starting to feel like I am running out of time. Adding to the caged feeling, every tree in my neighborhood is trying to kill me in full bloom. It is commonly known by my friends and family that my allergies are no joke. During my allergy test a few years ago the nurse thought she was going to have to send me to the ER in an ambulance when my arm blew up to three times its normal size after she administered the prick test. Instead, I passed out and was given a cortisone shot intended for someone twice my size...and then I threw up! Maple, Oak and Pine are my big three. I tried to go outside with Lily this morning for some play time, but after only 20 minutes my mouth, nose, and eyes were on FIRE. A few minutes later I started to wheeze (which scared the bejesus out of me) and we came running back inside. I spent the next hour in absolute misery. Sufficed to say the house is now on lock down and all windows and doors are to remain closed until further notice. I bet you are dying to come over for a visit! I am most disappointed that we won't be able to go for any more long walks. As much as my feet and hips were killing me, I felt like I was at least doing something to help move things along. Plus it gave me something to do. I suppose we could go and walk the mall, barf.

I am so bored, so very bored. I told Matt today that if I refresh my facebook feed one more time today... they are going to revoke my account. The house is clean. The laundry is washed, folded and put away. The grocery shopping is done. The bags are packed. WHAT IS THIS KID WAITING FOR?!?

My sister gets in tonight, here's hoping!!

A day in the life...

I'm not even going to apologize  :::hangs blogging head in shame:::

I wish I could say that we have been so busy doing fun and exciting things that I simply haven't had time to update the blog. Sadly, and as you probably guessed, we have not. For the past few weeks we have been going through the motions of our daily routine.

8:00am - Matt gets up with Lily (yes we know how CRAZY spoiled we are!)

8:30ish - Mommy lifts giant belly out of bed and makes way downstairs.

9:00am - Lily insists that everyone join her in the playroom after breakfast.

9:01-10:00am - Mommy gets roped into playing dollhouse. I am growing to despise this activity which consists of Mommy holding a doll (of Lily's choosing) and trying to guess what said doll would "like to do".

10:00ish - Lily's internal Elmo alarm goes off and she begins to request a snack in front of the TV for the last 30 minutes of Sesame Street. (She has zero interest in any other part of the show...just Elmo)

10:30am - Sid the Science Kid comes on following Sesame Street. In not my proudest mommy moment I allow my toddler to watch an additional 30 minutes of TV. Repeat after me, "It's education so that makes it okay!"

11:00am - Lily enthusiastically requests either a bath or a shower. On shower days I hop in there with her. On bath days my hygiene comes secondary. While in the bathroom we brush our teeth and Lily practices sitting on the potty. (She has yet to actually do anything on the potty. Once this week she peed on the floor next to the open potty, that's progress. Ha.)

12:00pm - By the time we are finished getting dressed etc it is usually around noon and we head downstairs for more dollhouse time! For the next 30 to 45 minutes I ask Lily every 5 minutes if she is hungry for lunch, because I am starving.

Lily requests the exact same thing for lunch every.single.day: Peanut butter bread and "yogurt with a spoon". On very exciting days (and honestly more often than not) Matt makes me something delicious for lunch like a BLT or bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel. Otherwise I also eat a peanut butter sandwich.

1:30pm - Lily goes down for a nap. During this time I usually throw in a load of laundry and clean up for a few minutes before hunkering down on the couch to play words with friends and waste an hour of my life surfing the internet.

2:30pm - I head upstairs to "re-set" Lily. At this point she has been jumping in her crib for the past hour and needs a gentle reminder as to what she supposed to be doing. For the record she is almost never a terror during this time and she is sleepy, but ever since we took away her paci she has a hard time settling down to sleep.

2:30-2:40pm - These are a critical 10 minutes, if all is quiet then it means napping success! Otherwise jumping commences.

3:30 (never later than 4:00)pm - I head upstairs to fetch sleeping beauty. I know it may seem odd to put her in her crib an hour before I expect her to actually sleep, but if I wait until 2:30 the nap DOES NOT happen. Some days she needs some time to play and wind down, other days I don't here a peep from 1:30 to 3:30. Repeat after me, "Every day with a toddler is an adventure!"

4:00pm - Lily has taken to snuggling on the couch in the sunroom for about a half hour once she comes down from her nap. During this time we usually read books. If it weren't for the whining this would be my favorite time of the day ;) Occasionally there is light snacking.

4:30-5:30pm  - The witching hour. Most days it is impossible to be happy during this hour, Lily makes sure of that. Matt is usually fully immersed in work, which makes Lily irritated. I am tired of playing dollhouse, which makes Lily irate. Heaven forbid I get started on dinner. Lucky for me it is just an hour.

5:30pm - Lily sits down to dinner. Since she eats about 6 foods dinner usually consists of some combination of the following: noodles-sauce-and-cheese (said as one word, meat (hamburger) is also permitted), hot dog, applesauce, green pepper, cheese, green beans, chicken (ONLY in the form of a veggie chicken nugget), or frozen peas. Occasionally she will have pizza or request something out of the blue like lettuce.

6:00pm - Mommy and Daddy decide whether we are "eating or waiting". If I haven't started dinner while Lily is eating hers then the answer is often waiting. Although for the past few weeks we have been pretty good about cooking and consuming dinner by 6:30.

6:30-7:00pm - The best 30 minutes of the day!! Lily is in a fantastic mood. Matt is officially on a break from working and I don't have to play dollhouse!

7:00pm - Goodnight moon and goodnight Lily. Most nights she goes down without a peep and is sound asleep by 7:15.

Some days we change it up. Tuesdays for example we have music class followed by a playdate with Griffin. When it is warm enough (which for January happened almost too frequently) we go for a walk. We also hit up the library. Because Matt works from home most days I almost never have to take her with me to run errands which is awesome, except for when I do have to take her and she misbehaves because she isn't used to sitting in the shopping cart for an hour.

Today we are having an unexpected sick day. Lily woke up fine, ate slightly less than her usual breakfast, had a snack around 10:30 and by 12:30 had thrown it all up (all down the front of my hoodie). For the past several hours we have been laying in our bed cuddling our pathetic little girl while she dozes off and on. She smiled a few minutes ago and asked for some water so hopefully the worst is over.
Repeat after me, "Every day with a toddler is an adventure!"

Blah...or is it Blech?

I really do feel bad that I have not been updating the blog. I have been feeling so crappy. In addition to feeling crappy I am having a hard time not dwelling on how crappy I feel. For those of you doing the math the equation looks something like this: feeling crappy + dwelling on feeling crappy = :(

I am trying my hardest to feel better but it just seems to be one thing after another. First it was the round-the-clock morning sickness. It is impossible to be a normal, functional, human being when you feel like you might actually throw up ALL DAY. When I first started feeling like that, Dingle was very sympathetic. That sympathy was (somewhat) understandably short lived. I know he works hard, and that doing my job as well as his own is too much. The problem being, if it were up to me, no one in this house would be eating anything, ever. Or cleaning up anything, or changing out or their pajamas. Ok, so I am exaggerating a little bit. I have been trying really hard to use any energy I do have on Lily, which doesn't leave a whole lot left for myself.

Then came the allergies. Ugh, the allergies. Every tree in our neighborhood hates me, and Matt, and Lily. I feel so bad that Lily has allergies too. Poor little girl. Now that we are all itchy, watery eyed, snot factories no one is getting a good night sleep. Last week while Matt was in California Lily and I stayed at my mom and dad's, which meant sharing a room. I think I averaged 5 hours of sleep each night, and none of those hours were consecutive.

Don't even get me started on the pregnancy mood swings. That equation looks something like this:
hormones(feeling crappy + dwelling on feeling) + exhaustion = >:o

I guess what I am trying to say is that my batteries are empty, and now Matt's are too. We had a long talk yesterday and set up a few strategies for feeling better. Sorry to be a downer. Things will be better as soon as the devil trees on my street are finished fornicating.

On a happier note. We had a quick ultrasound yesterday, baby looks great! The latest estimate is that he/she is due December 19th. Just in time for Christmas. More details to come.

On a second happy note, Lily started standing all by herself. She is amazing.

First Fever

This is the first time Lily and I have both been sick at the same time so I guess I should count my blessings but holy hell, this really sucks.

It all started Tuesday night, Lily woke up around midnight crying.  It was the kind of cry that sets off some crazy internal alarm moms don't know they have, until it goes off. I immediately sprung awake and rushed in to check on her.  Sure enough she had a fever of almost 102.  There is nothing in the world more torturous than watching helplessly while your child is in pain...frankly I don't know how we are going to make it through high school.  We brought Lily into our bed (where Dingle resumed sleeping almost instantly) and I lay awake with a 102 degree heating blanket clinging to my chest.  Lily was just plain pathetic, in the most endearing way ever.  She snuggled and sighed and whimpered...until 2am when she finally surrendered to sleep and I put her back in her crib.  Every hour on the hour like clockwork I woke up as if I had been hit my lightning, blame it on the internal alarm.  Yet another joy of motherhood!

Lily's fever hovered between 102 and 103 all day and into the night on Wednesday.  Wednesday night was basically Tuesday night the sequel only with more snot.  All the books say not to medicate a fever under 104 so our poor little muffin just stuck it out.  I will say she was a pretty good sport, there was minimal screeching and only twice did she flail and claw at my face as though she was possessed. Her fever finally broke on Thursday morning and she resumed normal activities just as my temperature began to spike. Last night I was the one whimpering and sighing.  Not wanting to be a hypocrite I refrained from medicating my fever with an OTC and opted for beers instead! Sadly, the effects didn't last long and at 2am I woke up feeling as though my sinuses were filled my hardened concrete. Let the whimpering commence.

So here I am, having not slept through the night since Monday, drowning in a sea of snotty tissues. In the next room I can hear my bouncing baby, refusing to take her morning nap...it's going to be a good day!