Summer...summarized...sort of.

I still haven't really decided how to move forward with my blog without spending 40 hours (that I will never find) blogging in detail about so many important things that have happened since last spring. I think the plan is to summarize our summer in this post and then post date some of the more important things as I get caught up. I have promised myself that for at least a few weeks while Lily is at school and Ben in napping that I will spend time right here, doing what I love, documenting our little lives.

June:

Upon returning from Kate's graduation at the end of May we decided that the time was right to re-list our house. Maine is always the goal. Most, if not all, of the major decisions we have made in the last couple of years have all been rooted in getting back home and settling down permanently.

Kate moved in with us the first week of June and I took full advantage of her babysitting services. My days started at 7am and often didn't end until 9pm or later. I prepped, primed, painted, and repainted almost every wooden surface in our home. It was a tremendous amount of work and I will not be signing up to do it again any time soon. The results however are amazing and I was very proud to have the listing agent take our pictures and formalize our listing.

Also in June we had the kids baptized at "our" church in Maine. It was the hottest.day.ever.

We made several other trips to Maine to celebrate Doe's 60th birthday as well as attend a large family reunion for my dad's family. The weather was a little on the cool side for June but if nothing else it was amazing for running...which I did a lot of.

July:

Kate and I signed up for a sunrise SUP (stand up paddle board) class that ran for four weeks. The first two weeks we paddled in rough seas, drizzle, and ridiculous fog. Not exactly what we had in mind! The weather really cooperated for the remainder of the classes and I had a great time. I consider myself "lake people" and would much rather sit on the dock and listen to the loons than sit on the beach any day. That being said I really enjoyed the ocean for the first time since I was a kid. Totally worth getting up at 5:30 :)

July was beautifully hot and the kids and I used the pool almost every day. We spent our days playing outside, picnicking, soaking up the sun. The kids have the farmer's tans to prove it! I crossed at least 20 things off my 101 things list, but don't hold your breath for the blog posts any time soon!! The fourth of July was a blast this year. The weather was perfect and the kids LOVED the fireworks. My heart was just bursting all evening as I cuddled my two greatest blessings on a blanket in the park.

Mid July we made last minute plans to see a Red Sox game and made arrangements for the kids to spend the weekend with Mimi and Doe. In the midst of making plans and getting the house ready for yet another open house (remember this whole time the house was on the market and we were doing showings and open houses every weekend, yuck) we got a huge shock...two pink lines! We kept our news a secret and sadly 10 days later I lost the pregnancy.

For a few days I was in shock, and then for a few more days I was really angry. I had already had my "statistically likely" miscarriage in 2011, a second one really felt like a slap in the face. There is definitely a longer blog post here because I have more that I would like to say about loss and moving forward. For now, know that I am doing great, both mentally and physically. I am ready and excited to get pregnant again and as soon as it happens I will be shouting it from the rooftops.

August:

The first weekend in August I drove myself to NY to spend some much needed quality time with one of my very best friends. I am not sure if she really wanted me to crash her weekend as she was getting ready to go on vacation and her apartment was about to undergo a huge renovation, but wanted or not I showed up at her door and she took me in. The weekend was amazing, we went for a run, ate our way through all of NYC, shopped, drank beers, got our nails done, and went to bed at a reasonable hour...I could not have asked for a more perfect weekend. In case I didn't say it enough, thank you and I love you.

Running, running, and more running.

Cleaning the house, doing showings, cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning. Keeping the house "show ready" is an exhausting full time job.

Dingle and I were treated to box seats at yet another Sox game. It was a-m-a-z-i-n-g! A much needed date night for sure!

As is our annual tradition the kids and I headed to Maine for an extended weekend the second week of August. We spent lots of time with family and friends we love like family. Did I mention that I love Maine, sigh. We went to the beach, swam in my aunt's pool, ate popcorn, hit up the playground, had lobsters, visited a petting zoo, and smiled until our cheeks hurt.

On Friday we ran our third Summerfest 5k. I ran a post-babies personal best with a time of 29:00, three whole minutes faster than last year. Proud, you bet I am. Next to Christmas this remains my favorite week of the year.

As summer blends into fall here in New England we are all looking forward to the change of seasons. Cool nights and warm days, apple picking, pumpkin flavored everything, and the return of our favorite TV shows! The house is now officially off the market until spring so we can all relax and enjoy what will most likely be our last fall season in this house!

First Day of School!

I have no less than 100 pictures on my real camera to document Lily's open house on Wednesday. Today Daddy had the real camera and we were not on the same page when it came to documentation. I will upload the iphone pics I took tomorrow.

In summary today was very good. The whole family took Lily to school this morning to drop off our girl. The goodbye was just as I had pictured it. At first Lily ran into the room without so much as turning around and as far as the teachers were concerned Daddy and I should just slip out, but I know my girl.

(*side note - Are all toddlers a little OCD? Seriously, Lily is VERY ritualistic about saying goodbye/goodnight. We have started affectionately referring to said ritual as the "secret handshake" and lord help you if you get it wrong. I'll take a video of it and post it soon, you know for posterity...not at all in a mocking way)

Back to my story. I called to Lily to let her know that we were leaving and asked if she would like to do the secret handshake. Immediately she froze in her tracks and retreated back to us, looking a little panicked. I assured her that I would be back to pick her up, completed the ritual, and made a bee line for the car. I feel a little ridiculous admitting that I cried in the car on the way home, but it hurt leaving her there.

I came home, put Ben down for his nap and proceeded to putt around the house for two long hours. Ben FINALLY got up around 11 and we had a great time playing bubbles on the front porch. Right on schedule at 11:55 he began to frantically and relentlessly beg me for lunch. (He repeatedly cycles through his signs, more, hungry, please, more hungry, please, more, hungry, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeee). It was a little early to go get Lily but I couldn't handle the begging so we headed over to her school, which is less than two minutes door to door. As it turns out pickup is a little (A LOT) hectic so we were not as early as I thought. Lily's teacher saw me in the door and brought Lil over to be signed out. By the time I looked up from the most amazing hug ever her teacher had returned to the classroom and we were just left standing in the hall. No mention of how the day went, no further instructions. Like a total rookie mom I stood there for a minute not really knowing what to do, so we left. It was weird.

Lily was oddly quiet as we walked to the car and she requested that I turn off the radio for the ride home. Poor thing. She must have been so overstimulated. I made the mistake of asking her a few questions and after three consecutive one word answers she snapped, "Mommy, I don't want to talk right now." Totally my bad. After scolding her for snapping I apologized for pestering her and we ate lunch in silence. I laid down with her at nap time and again she was pretty quiet.

Finally after nap she was a little more chatty and here are the details of her day:

They sang three songs - "the monkey song" "the hot dog song" and "the spider song"
They read a book - "I don't know what it was about"
They had a snack - "It was regular crackers, yesterday it was teddy grahams"
They played outside - "I rode in every car, one was broken. I did not break it"
She was assigned a job - "My job was to clean up"

The only two unsolicited pieces of intel:

"There is a raccoon there, I love that little guy."
"One little boy ate the other little girl's snack."

So there you have it. We'll see how next week goes. Overall I think she liked it.

Toddlers are amazing.

Preschool gives me hives

Just when you were thinking that maybe, just maybe, we were all grown up and gone forever.

After nearly three months without blogging a single sentence I am officially back on the wagon. We have had a crazy summer full of high highs and heartbreaking lows. I promise to do my very best to catch everyone up as soon as I figure out the best way to do it. I can't decide whether to do a series of short posts or a few very long ones. AND I have not forgotten that there are some very important things that happened this spring that I have still yet to type out. Just like raising a family this space is always a work in progress and I appreciate my loyal friends and readers who have gently reminded me over the past few weeks that I am missed and that I had better start posting pictures of my kids again, or else.

I want this post to be sweet and funny...but mostly I just want to not throw up.

Lily starts preschool tomorrow. I am simultaneously excited and devastated. Here is the thing about sending my first born off to school. Up until now I have been Lily's whole world. I am her best friend. I know all of her stories, I can finish her sentences, and I recite every episode of Octonauts...all while throwing mommy doll off the roof. I have been here. To make every snack and kiss every boo boo. To read every book and sing every song.

Now there will be new songs, and I will not know the words.

Soon she will come home bursting to tell me all about firetrucks, or butterflies, or calculus and it will all be new to me. Especially the calculus. I will not know who she sat next to at snack when she inevitably forgets and asks me their name. I will not know how many times she went down the slide, or if she was chosen to feed the fish or pick up the blocks. Everything will be new and exciting to her, and of course I will be excited too...but for this little girl's mommy all of this "new" is bittersweet.

This is the start of Lily becoming her own person. I have spent three years basking in the amazing spirit that she is when she is with me, in our comfy bubble. Now it is time to send her out in to the world and I am not ready to share. The outside world will change her for the better...and for the worse. I know it is only preschool but this is it, her first big step...away from me.

Don't get me wrong, I know in my heart that school will be great for her. I would not send her if I felt otherwise, not all three year olds need to go to school and I will be making this decision on a kid by kid basis! But Lily? Lily, our girl who spoke in full sentences at 18 months, potty trained herself at two and a half, and just informed me yesterday that when she grows up she will take her coffee with cream and sugar, is ready.

In fifteen years when she reads excerpts from this blog there are a few things I want her to know:
(Lily this list is for you.)

1. I will always be here.

I promise to try my very hardest to always be here when you get home from school. There is nothing more important to me than hearing all about your day. Please don't leave out any details! I want to know whether or not you ate the lunch I packed, I want to know how many times you can jump rope, I want to know the names of all your friends, and what you learned in science class. I want you to know that there isn't anything you can't tell me.

2. I am your number one fan.

Every child deserves to feel that they are unconditionally loved, and you are no exception. I will proudly display your arts and crafts, applaud loudly at your band concerts, stand in the rain on the side of some field, and unabashedly brag about you to all of my friends. I believe in you with my whole heart.

3. Love learning

There are so many amazing things to learn in life. Explore, read, create, listen. Yes, school is a lot of work. No, you are not always going to love the assignments you are given or the topics you are expected to cover. That being said, going to school and learning all that you can is one of life's greatest privileges.Your dad and I can only barely scratch the surface when it comes to teaching you. Teachers are passionate about their jobs but you have to be an active participant in your own education. Be passionate about learning.

We will get in to the kind of person I hope you will become in future posts. For now just know that I expect you to be a good listener, use your manners, and for heavens sake don't wait if you have to use the potty!

This is your fair warning world, Lily is about to take over. Meanwhile if you need me tomorrow I will be crying in my car from 9:01 until 12:16pm.