As my children have grown they have provided me endless blogging content. One thing I have never really done however is chronicle a pregnancy with any real attention to detail. For one I didn't start blogging until after my daughter was born. I am not sure why I didn't write more detailed posts about being pregnant with Ben, I was probably foolish enough to think I would remember what it was like. Although, from the sounds of
this post, I was pretty well aware even then that one of these days my husband will find me wandering around in the yard in my bathrobe looking for my toothbrush. I figure there is no better opportunity to start embarrassing number three then right now, while still in utero.
My brother informed me tonight that chronicling my bump, which I did do with relative regularity (
here), is "super awkward". Clearly 25 year old men are not my target audience.
I haven't decided yet if I will follow a strict format each week but looking back at all of my monthly update posts for Benjamin I really like the consistency from month to month. I am thinking I will try something uniform from week to week, knowing that some weeks not a whole lot will have changed in some categories. Please feel free to leave a comment if there is something you are dying to know about my pregnancy from week to week that I have failed to document!
For now I will be using feminine pronouns to describe the baby...partly because there is a tiny part of me hoping for a girl, but mostly because going back and forth is confusing and the baby is not an "it". For the record there is also a tiny part of me that is terrified that this baby will be another girl!
Let's start with some
baby stats: This week the baby is the size of a fig (1.5 in long), she is fully formed and able to kick and stretch. By the end of the week she will be able to open and close her tiny fingers.
How about a
picture. I will have to work out a better system for taking a weekly pic. There are no full length mirrors at my in-laws' and Matt had already left for the city by the time I was even marginally presentable. I had to prop a wall mirror up in my dresser drawer to get these gems, but they will have to do for today. (Not to be missed, my belly being upstaged by toddler photo bomb)
I also made it "super awkward" and added a bare belly pic, just for you dear brother.
I feel like I look huge, but looking back at my bump pics of Ben I am feeling slightly less like a freak of nature. I popped early with him too. I hid my pregnancy with Lily from school coworkers and students until I was 18 weeks along. I have a feeling the cat is out of the bag on this one. I wish I had taken a "before" picture as soon as I found out I was expecting. This summer I was in the best shape of my adult life and while the skin will never be what it used to be (not complaining, just stating fact), I had a pretty flat tummy as of a few months ago. This new belly still doesn't feel like it is "me" just yet. I will be happier when it is more baby and less beer gut.
How you doin'?: Pretty terrible this week actually. I know that for a lot of women their symptoms start to subside about now. Two nights ago my mom made baked haddock, mashed potato, and zucchini for dinner. I was feeling pretty good and really it was the first meal I had eaten in a couple of days. Sadly, I spent the entire night in the fetal position willing myself to keep in down. I eventually felll asleep so I am calling it a "win" for the baby, she got a lot of great vitamins that night...at no point did I feel like I had won a damn thing.
Other than the nausea, which hits without warning, I feel ok. I have had a few headaches, but nothing like what I endured with Ben. For the past week or so I have been fighting off a cold but so far, that too has been bearable.
I am not getting up more than once in the night to pee (yet), but I haven't been feeling very rested when it is time to get up either. I am sure that in part it is due to sleeping with my 6'4" husband in a full size bed. I know it is not his fault, but jeez he takes up a lot of real estate. With Lily I freaking loved sleep, with Ben I couldn't ever sleep more than a few hours at a time (which continued for the first YEAR of his life). Let's hope this baby is good to me in the sleep department. I have put in my time with the "up all night" club.
Aversions/Cravings: All food is terrible at any given moment. I have pretty consistently been happy and able to eat a bowl of Cheerios with fruit for breakfast every day but after that all bets are off. My relationship with food was actually a little better the week of Christmas so fortunately I don't feel like I missed out on too many yummy things. For some reason I find potato very offensive, even in it's finest french fried form, which really is a crime against nature.
Cravings...ALCOHOL. Holy Mother of God what I wouldn't do for a
bottle tall glass of champagne. I am literally salivating just thinking about it. I can smell an open beer from across a crowded room and heaven help you if you don't offer me a (seriously measly) tiny sip. Last night I had a dream about drinking a Bloody Mary...that's all, nothing else in the dream, just me and my drink.
Movement: Nothing yet. As I mentioned the other day, I can regularly find the baby with my doppler so even though I can't feel her yet I know she is dancing up a storm.
Milestones: Getting to see the baby for the first time last week was awesome, in the literal sense of the word. I cried like a baby myself watching her tiny movements on the black and white screen.
What I am looking forward to: I got a few new maternity shirts for Christmas that are super cute and I am excited to wear once the belly necessitates. Hopefully as I reach the official end of the first trimester in the next two weeks I will start feeling a whole lot better.
Worries: I have two healthy and beautiful children, I am constantly worried that lightning cannot possibly strike a third time. Of course with my upcoming appointments I am worried specifically about birth defects and Down's Syndrome, basically any worst case scenario. Luckily my mind only goes to dark places every now and then.
Let's compare: I have done a little comparing already and admittedly I have only my weak memory to use as a reference here.
This pregnancy I popped much sooner than the other two.
I have been sleeping ok but not as great as I did with Lily.
The pregnancy's morning sickness has given me a whole new reality when it comes to what it means to barf and get on with the rest of the day.
I've already had a little cold, with Lily I was literally superhuman. I worked at a middle school and did not take a single sick day the entire year leading up to her birth.
I am actually more content and less anxious for the days to pass by this time around than with either of my other babies. If I wasn't planning these weekly posts I am certain I would lose track of how far along I am.
Best moment of the week: (I borrowed the overall format for this post from a few different blogger friends but this last one is total plagiarism on my part,
Julia gets total credit for ending on a high note!)
I let Lily lay with me today while I used the doppler. It was beautiful watching her little face concentrate on the things I was telling her about my own heartbeat and the baby's. Once I had really locked on to the baby and she got to listen for about 10 uninterrupted seconds I could tell she was amazed, it definitely made the baby real for her. She promptly followed up the experience by asking me to make her a snack.
